Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Wires, Headlines

Intended to grab the reader's attention. To sell papers. To lead into.
This entry will share the joy, puzzlement, and amusement you may get if you too are baffled by the most oblivious and bizarre AP wires and the not-quite-right newspaper headlines found on the front pages. Here's an original take on headlines and sub-headings:

This just in:
"Public Safety" is a euphemism for law enforcement
Subheading: "Creating jobs" is double-speak for creating profits

This just in:
All wars of conquest are unjust
Subheading: This includes American Manifest Destiny

This just in:
US Airways and American Airlines set a historically unprecendented merger in air travel
Subheading: Meanwhile, half of the city of San Antonio's population has never flown in an airplane
This just in:
Public transportation is not a part of the American dream
Subheading: Which has become an American nightmare

This just in:
Maximizing profits is in no way related to managing an economy
Subheading: Whose economy is it anyway?

*work in progress*